Thank you for offering fresh evidence of how unlikely pairings of things can be true at the same time. Flat energy and light that shines through. Loneliness and connection. Reading what you are noticing about trees, what my mind wandered off to was the stories/fairytales in which a beleaguered person is approached by a small wild creature -- say a mouse or bird. Their unexpected interaction leads to some kind of liberation . . . a rope is chewed through, a magic stick or stone or key is found. Trees are in that friendly company too, no? Honored and grateful to be in your audience and loving community.
Thank you for using one of your glimmers to write to us. I recognize my own long and winding road navigating depression in your words. I hope that your fog clears and lets in lots more glimmers. Be gentle with yourself.
This is so beautiful Josh - brings up so much in me, the beauty of your description, the concept of depression, limbic systems and their evolution, plant intelligence, the extended world into plants, Adler's conception of community (included rocks and plants) and how we're tied into the whole world through the common denominator of chemical senses - how plants talk through scents, how humans listen and talk the same way. But mostly I'm just flattened by your courage and how much love you are sending to all of us! Right back at you!
Glimmers, yes! I'm so glad they're coming into you, sitting in your comfy reading chair. I'm envious of you having trees outside your window! So much of my life I've been "rich" in trees, now I'm surrounded mostly by concrete and stucco., and feel the loss daily. Have you considered that the trees' beauty and movements that stir your soul are their reciprocity to you? and YES! there are hints and more than hints in your recent blogs of you discovering more and more about yourself, you in relation to the world beyond your chair. Enjoy the trees doubly for me, please. Thank you.
Glimmers of hope. Glimpses of truth. Your post gives me both. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure your chronicles will be a balm to many of your readers. Thank you, Josh.
Josh, you are so loved. It's wonderful to read the responses from your "tribe!" Thank you for reminding me about Martin Buber, I and Thou. Read it when I had no idea what I was reading but felt very moved by his words. I am also constantly seeking a connection to something here on planet earth and I've greatly appreciated writings by Robert Sapolsky about what makes us tick. Felt like reading the Bible, somehow. That and Pete Walker's book about CPTSD, from surviving to thriving have given my awareness permission to understand the emotional healing needed from early days. These are not great literary works, but more nuts and bolts that give me some comfort. Thank you for hanging in with it all and sharing what you experience....big hug, Sara from RTSO
Thank you so much for this very lovely and kind comment, Sara!! As it happens, I love Sapolsky's writings too, and I'm currently engaged in delightful Bible studies with two brilliant friends of mine (we're on the Book of Joshua right now). I really appreciate your wonderful empathy!
Josh, my husband and I have loved you and your work for a long time and I love reading your writings Substack.
I want you to feel better and to come out of depression hibernation. I’m pretty sure you need a prescription for a seratonin-reuptake inhibitor. They take a few weeks to take effect so talk to a prescriber as soon as you can. They don’t change who you are, they just keep you from descending into the low lows. They enable you to function. I know that I do not gain any real insight from my low, low periods. The depression thinking doesn’t hold true when you’re back up. You will still feel ups and downs—just not so far down. Please do this. Take care of yourself and those who love you by getting this help.
You are brave, smart, and good! Access all that again. Feel better.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. I've had similar experiences. As a fellow atheist, hope for change is the only thing that's kept me going through my own periods of deep depression.
I too have lived my days with the Noonday Demon, I am sorry to hear you are in the midst of one of those mind storms and hope you can ride it out. We don't need you to be all cheerful, but we do need you. (BTW about to start that same weight loss program you participated in; running into you at Fabiola felt like a sign to go ahead with it.)
Adam! I remember when we ran into each other! You were going to wait to start the diet until after the holidays, right? (Very wise.) You are going to _rock_ that program, Adam -- I'm so happy and excited for you!!
Josh, You are brave and Inspiring. I can’t imagine your pain. But, I feel privileged that you trust enough to share it with me and other fans/readers of your work. Keep tuning into those trees. Hugs from Oakland. ~ Sally Ribin
I've just started The Light Eaters! Seeing that youhave read it and got so much from it is very encouraging. I think she has a breezy style, but I'm still at the very beginning of the book. Another book I enjoyed is The Over Story which clued me in to how much plants have going on. I really like the I/thou thing you wrote. I haven't read Martin Buber; I'm pretty impressed that you have not only read him but can actually apply what you got from that reading to other things you've read. Things that I might even read!
I'm sorry you having such a tough time right now. I feel very special to be part of this circle of readers.
So great to hear from you, dear Hilary!! Yes, Sara and I both plan to read "The Overstory." The thing is, I brought home a copy long ago, but we can't find it -- lost in the understory of our cluttered home!!
Hey Josh - I’m sorry things are rough right now. If it helps at all, I just saw a movie you might like. Have you watched Problemista? It’s a pretty delightful movie about work and art and difficulty, should you be in the mood for that. Tilda Swinton is fantastic in it.
Josh, dispatches from the dull dark reaches- i so resonate with your descriptions of the torpor and the glimmers and the deeply felt connections. Can feel you coming back and celebrate your dialogue with life and us!
Thank you for offering fresh evidence of how unlikely pairings of things can be true at the same time. Flat energy and light that shines through. Loneliness and connection. Reading what you are noticing about trees, what my mind wandered off to was the stories/fairytales in which a beleaguered person is approached by a small wild creature -- say a mouse or bird. Their unexpected interaction leads to some kind of liberation . . . a rope is chewed through, a magic stick or stone or key is found. Trees are in that friendly company too, no? Honored and grateful to be in your audience and loving community.
Beautiful, Julie -- thank you!!
Thank you for using one of your glimmers to write to us. I recognize my own long and winding road navigating depression in your words. I hope that your fog clears and lets in lots more glimmers. Be gentle with yourself.
Thank you so much, Stephanie!!
This is so beautiful Josh - brings up so much in me, the beauty of your description, the concept of depression, limbic systems and their evolution, plant intelligence, the extended world into plants, Adler's conception of community (included rocks and plants) and how we're tied into the whole world through the common denominator of chemical senses - how plants talk through scents, how humans listen and talk the same way. But mostly I'm just flattened by your courage and how much love you are sending to all of us! Right back at you!
Thank you, dear Lucia!! I've got to check out this Adler guy!
Glimmers, yes! I'm so glad they're coming into you, sitting in your comfy reading chair. I'm envious of you having trees outside your window! So much of my life I've been "rich" in trees, now I'm surrounded mostly by concrete and stucco., and feel the loss daily. Have you considered that the trees' beauty and movements that stir your soul are their reciprocity to you? and YES! there are hints and more than hints in your recent blogs of you discovering more and more about yourself, you in relation to the world beyond your chair. Enjoy the trees doubly for me, please. Thank you.
I shall, Sara -- thank you!!
Thank you, Josh.
Glimmers of hope. Glimpses of truth. Your post gives me both. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure your chronicles will be a balm to many of your readers. Thank you, Josh.
Thank you so much, Terri!!
Josh, you are so loved. It's wonderful to read the responses from your "tribe!" Thank you for reminding me about Martin Buber, I and Thou. Read it when I had no idea what I was reading but felt very moved by his words. I am also constantly seeking a connection to something here on planet earth and I've greatly appreciated writings by Robert Sapolsky about what makes us tick. Felt like reading the Bible, somehow. That and Pete Walker's book about CPTSD, from surviving to thriving have given my awareness permission to understand the emotional healing needed from early days. These are not great literary works, but more nuts and bolts that give me some comfort. Thank you for hanging in with it all and sharing what you experience....big hug, Sara from RTSO
Thank you so much for this very lovely and kind comment, Sara!! As it happens, I love Sapolsky's writings too, and I'm currently engaged in delightful Bible studies with two brilliant friends of mine (we're on the Book of Joshua right now). I really appreciate your wonderful empathy!
Get well soon! We'll be waiting for you when your glimmers become shimmers and then a shine so that you can walk down the path into light again.
Glimmers to shimmers to a shine -- I love that progression!! Thank you!!
Josh, my husband and I have loved you and your work for a long time and I love reading your writings Substack.
I want you to feel better and to come out of depression hibernation. I’m pretty sure you need a prescription for a seratonin-reuptake inhibitor. They take a few weeks to take effect so talk to a prescriber as soon as you can. They don’t change who you are, they just keep you from descending into the low lows. They enable you to function. I know that I do not gain any real insight from my low, low periods. The depression thinking doesn’t hold true when you’re back up. You will still feel ups and downs—just not so far down. Please do this. Take care of yourself and those who love you by getting this help.
You are brave, smart, and good! Access all that again. Feel better.
Thank you so much for this wise advice, Laura! I'm on it!!
Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. I've had similar experiences. As a fellow atheist, hope for change is the only thing that's kept me going through my own periods of deep depression.
Thank you, Pax -- let us never give up hope for (positive) change!!
Beautiful, graceful essay—and filled with moments of complex truth, and tenderness of the sort that matters to all it touches. Thank you.
Thank you so much, dear Nick!!
I too have lived my days with the Noonday Demon, I am sorry to hear you are in the midst of one of those mind storms and hope you can ride it out. We don't need you to be all cheerful, but we do need you. (BTW about to start that same weight loss program you participated in; running into you at Fabiola felt like a sign to go ahead with it.)
Adam! I remember when we ran into each other! You were going to wait to start the diet until after the holidays, right? (Very wise.) You are going to _rock_ that program, Adam -- I'm so happy and excited for you!!
Josh, You are brave and Inspiring. I can’t imagine your pain. But, I feel privileged that you trust enough to share it with me and other fans/readers of your work. Keep tuning into those trees. Hugs from Oakland. ~ Sally Ribin
I feel that the privilege is mine, Sally, for having readers like you!!
I am very grateful that you are bringing us with you on this journey.
Thank you so much, Sherrie!!
I've just started The Light Eaters! Seeing that youhave read it and got so much from it is very encouraging. I think she has a breezy style, but I'm still at the very beginning of the book. Another book I enjoyed is The Over Story which clued me in to how much plants have going on. I really like the I/thou thing you wrote. I haven't read Martin Buber; I'm pretty impressed that you have not only read him but can actually apply what you got from that reading to other things you've read. Things that I might even read!
I'm sorry you having such a tough time right now. I feel very special to be part of this circle of readers.
So great to hear from you, dear Hilary!! Yes, Sara and I both plan to read "The Overstory." The thing is, I brought home a copy long ago, but we can't find it -- lost in the understory of our cluttered home!!
Hey Josh - I’m sorry things are rough right now. If it helps at all, I just saw a movie you might like. Have you watched Problemista? It’s a pretty delightful movie about work and art and difficulty, should you be in the mood for that. Tilda Swinton is fantastic in it.
Thanks, Lesley!! I've never heard about Problemista -- I'll check it out! (And I love Tilda!)
Josh, dispatches from the dull dark reaches- i so resonate with your descriptions of the torpor and the glimmers and the deeply felt connections. Can feel you coming back and celebrate your dialogue with life and us!
I'm so glad you can feel that, Laura -- bless you!!