You are inspiring! For many reasons like the work you do on-stage (last show coming up at the Marsh-a real treat and thought provoking to boot) but mostly because you’re just so human. This journey you’re on seems very hard but also worth it and I love that you’re sharing it. I relate, I’ll bet we all relate. Carry on, Brother Josh!
Encouraging, encouraging . . . there, some more encouraging words.
I like all the sympa comments you get from yr fans here--you send good vibes, receive good ones in return from like-minded folks. I earlier sent you 2 or 3 encouraging posts on food/dieting etc., then thought to branch off a little bit from obsessing on food (and its absence!) which can lead to disaster, or at least be a strain, and I sent you a couple of bits on comedy and self-deprecating bla bla.
Now back to Topic A. Again, congrats, but I worry about the eventual end of this extreme diet. I'm hoping there will be a planned transitioning to ease your way. Unfortunately this here can lead to obsesssive thoughts on food, as your post shows. Oh, I miss this, I miss that . . .
Do we have to celebrate with food? Can't we celebrate with shouting? Dancing naked in fountains? Hugging our friends (after drying off and reduffing our clothes)? I'm going to congratulate myself for writing this post by, I dunno, standing up and stretching, admiring the view from a nearby window, petting my dogs . . . no food necessary.
Well, again, I'm trying to lead thoughts away from just foodfoodfood. Maybe I should try a dirty joke or two. Whatever, just trying to edge food back into a smaller part of your life, y'know? Well, your *emotional* life, cuz obviously you have all kinds of intellectual, social and pollitical pursuits, science and what have you. I know it can be like trying to *not* think of polar bears in the snow--isn't that an old exercise in this sort of thing? How to avoid obsession, bla bla.
I was gonna mention a 94-day fast I was involved in (companero, not participant!) with Pastors for Peace. Our people existed on a daily diet of one gallon of water and the juice of I think a dozen lemons and a cup of molasses for electrolytes and B vitamins. Ah, there, I did mention it. Well, okay, polar bears and snow, let's not think about food alla time. It's maybe kinda a zen-ish thing, not *reaching* for a thought or condition, but letting it happen. A nice trick, if you can do it. Let it happen. Water (and food) will find its own, proper, level. Okay, end of sermon. Sheesh. joe
Encouraging, encouraging . . . there, some more encouraging words.
I like all the sympa comments you get from yr fans here--you send good vibes, receive good ones in return from like-minded folks. I earlier sent you 2 or 3 encouraging posts on food/dieting etc., then thought to branch off a little bit from obsessing on food (and its absence!) which can lead to disaster, or at least be a strain, and I sent you a couple of bits on comedy and self-deprecating bla bla.
Now back to Topic A. Again, congrats, but I worry about the eventual end of this extreme diet. I'm hoping there will be a planned transitioning to ease your way. Unfortunately this here can lead to obsesssive thoughts on food, as your post shows. Oh, I miss this, I miss that . . .
Do we have to celebrate with food? Can't we celebrate with shouting? Dancing naked in fountains? Hugging our friends (after drying off and reduffing our clothes)? I'm going to congratulate myself for writing this post by, I dunno, standing up and stretching, admiring the view from a nearby window, petting my dogs . . . no food necessary.
Well, again, I'm trying to lead thoughts away from just foodfoodfood. Maybe I should try a dirty joke or two. Whatever, just trying to edge food back into a smaller part of your life, y'know? Well, your *emotional* life, cuz obviously you have all kinds of intellectual, social and pollitical pursuits, science and what have you. I know it can be like trying to *not* think of polar bears in the snow--isn't that an old exercise in this sort of thing? How to avoid obsession, bla bla.
I was gonna mention a 94-day fast I was involved in (companero, not participant!) with Pastors for Peace. Our people existed on a daily diet of one gallon of water and the juice of I think a dozen lemons and a cup of molasses for electrolytes and B vitamins. Ah, there, I did mention it. Well, okay, polar bears and snow, let's not think about food alla time. It's maybe kinda a zen-ish thing, not *reaching* for a thought or condition, but letting it happen. A nice trick, if you can do it. Let it happen. Water (and food) will find its own, proper, level. Okay, end of sermon. Sheesh. joe
I love your comments, Joe!! ... Re the transition back to eating real food: Yes, this Kaiser program I'm on does focus bigly on that. After the first phase of 17 weeks (the one I'm on), for the next 13 weeks we'll gradually incorporate real food, week-by-week replacing one or two of the "meal replacements" with, you know, food (but with strict calorie amounts and percentages of protein, non-starchy carbs, etc.). And then, after the 30 weeks of the actual diet, they offer follow-up - and participation in support groups - for (it seems) forever. But I'm still quite nervous about what will happen after the diet is over.
I had a beer before going into the Comedy Store in L.A. I was late, as always,
and the only seating available was a table for two right up against the stage.
I was soon to learn to never, ever sit up front in a comedy show.
As I awaited the show, the beer started hitting me hard. Should I get up and make a run for it now, or--blast, here came the MC. He introduced the comedian, Richard Belzer. {I just now Googled his name to assure spelling, and it said his last words were "Fuck you, motherfucker!" Hmp.]
If you forget who he is, he was a hard-faced detective on a New York cop show. His visage was much more suited for gritty drama than comedy, that's for sure.
So Belzer started out as so many do, greeting the audience, establishing his presence up and down the line of tables. His gaze skipped over me and the
empty chair next to me and swept along. Halfway across the front row he said
to one man, "I see you brought your hooker in with you." A slight gasp from the crowd as folks wondered how this would go over with his victim, who just made
a forced smile and gritted his teeth. Another aggressive remark to someone at
another table, an insult to their wardrobe, then towards the other end of the
stage he reached down and lifted up a patron's drink and took a noisy sip from
it and stared down challengingly at the man whose drink it was. Belzer had now shown whose room it was. Then he started his routine. Oh shit, this was going to go on for a while, and I really, really had to go. Then Belzer singled out someone at the other end of the stage and addressed a comment to her, sotto voce.
Now was my chance. I'd make my break. I stood up, crouching and made to slink out to hit the head, go to the bathroom. But I was caught in the act. Belzer
turned from his warm up (?) sequence and stared at me. "Am I offending you?"
"Oh, no, you're great. It's just I got the runs."
What'd I say that for? To my--our--mutual discomfort I got a bigger laugh than he'd got so far. I hadn't gone for a laugh at all, but something about the timing, perhaps juxtaposed with the tension from his needling audience members, brought out a burst of laughter. Oh my.
I think Belzer started by noting the empty chair next to me. "What's the matter--your computer date didn't show up?" and on and on he went, calling me everything but the son of god. And like the man with the violated drink or the one whose wife or girlfriend had been called a hooker, there was nothing to do but put on that same forced smile and grit, grit, grit.
Never sit up front at a comedy show.
Then there was the time I went to a club on Battery Street in San Francisco.
This time I would make sure I got there in plenty of time, get a seat further back, and I'd take a bathroom break beforehand. The club had a somewhat strange street face--no windows, just solid concrete. There was a stairway going up a floor to the main entrance. Beside it there was a single door in the building's concrete face, and a man sat in a wheelchair on the sidewalk facing it. From behind I could see he was making those head motions I knew so well from back in New York, when I'd socialize with my wife's cousin, who had cerebral palsy.
I sized up the situation immediately. The man couldn't manage the stairs, of course, and was faced with a door that had no buzzer. I'd help him.
I caught the man's attention, said, "Hi. I'll go up there and get somebody to let you in." Like my cousin-in-law, he had a hard time speaking, made gurgling sounds as his head rolled around. I made some sort of assuring gesture, turned and bounded up the stairs. At the ticket office I said, "Say, there's a guy in a wheelchair downstairs and--"
"We know about it, thanks." Okay, I bought my ticket, went inside and got a good seat, far enough back that I wouldn't be a ringside victim of a rampaging comic, but right on the aisle so I could get a good view. I secured my seat with my jacket, made my pit stop, returned to my seat as the joint filled, and soon it was show time.
The MC came out, made his introductions, pointed out the exits, made a pitch for forthcoming shows, then changed into his introduction voice. "And now, folks, we have a special treat for you. Our first act tonight is _____, the world's
first paraplegic comedian!" Ta-da!
And it was him! The guy in the wheelchair from outside! "H-h-hi, ev-v-vrybody. I h-hope y-you d-don't f-feel cheated--th-this is s'posed to be s-s-stand up!" and there was a relieved laugh. He knew that we knew that he knew. There was an elephant in the room and he'd deal with that right away.
"It's n-not easy b-breaking into c-comedy for m-me--hell, it's n-not easy for me anytime. Ev-v-vry day . . . like I w-was j-just outside here, w-waiting to get
on the elevator and along c-came this *asshole,* thought he was s-some kinda
liberal, and--" his eyes lit on me and suddenly his neck spasms ceased and he glared at me. "There he is now!" and all eyes were on me, and out came the frozen smile, the gritted teeth.
That's a great (linked) pair of stories, Joe -- with a fantastic punchline! (And I believe that the Punchline is the S.F. club you're referring to.) I saw Belzer emcee a gig in Greenwich Village many, many years ago (I think my mom was with me). Yeah, his stage persona (and, from the sound of it, maybe his just plain personality) was pretty bitter. He did this cool little bit in which (as I dimly recall) he was saying something about the past, then took a bite from his (or an audience member's?) plate of food, made as if to throw it up and said, "History repeats itself." Prof. Irwin Corey -- an old leftie -- was the main attraction at that show. A happy memory.
I wish I had something inspirational to tell you. I can tell you that I remember that feeling as well, and I completely get the reward for accomplishment mentality. There's also the habit mentality: can't do something without eating at the same time. It seems I can't sit down in front of the TV after work without eating something. I'm glad you've realized your issue, though, and being aware of it will help you overcome it. Best of luck to you!
4 inches?!!! That’s spectacular Josh!! Let that 4” loss really sink in and then tell us all that you’re not experiencing happy, dancing feelings ❣️Go Josh go!!!
I like how your rewards are shifting for you. The "pre-diabetic" warning from my last blood draw has me eating way less sugar, controlling that addiction and seem to be able to allow an occasional "treat" in a very small quantity - as long as I can still drink coffee, I seem to manage. I'm realizing it's all about dosage, so that's what I focus on. You gotta be proud of yourself, Josh - you're really doing it! Congratulations....
Thank you, Sara!! Getting back blood tests in that same "pre-diabetic" range was one of the big instigators of my desire to change how I eat. It's scary!!
Aug 21, 2023·edited Aug 21, 2023Liked by Josh Kornbluth
I hear you regarding food and rewards. The diet I'm on is completely different from yours so I eat "real food", but there are still foods I miss and crave. I'm allowing myself one "feast day" per month where I can eat whatever I want*; I don't call them "cheat days" as they're planned, so it's not cheating. My first scheduled feast day is coming up this Wednesday, August 23, for my Nameday: The 10-year anniversary of the start of my gender transition :-)
Regardless, the good thing about avoiding junk food is that it's made the healthier foods I've been eating taste so much better! I'm hoping this will encourage me keep eating this way most of the time once I've reached my goal weight. Best of luck to you in that regard.
* I'm vegan for ethical reasons so I never eat animal products. But there is plenty of vegan junk food available in San Francisco!
The very cool Kaiser doctor who did my pre-liquid-diet checkup told me that the one reservation she has about their program is that she wishes it was real food and not the (very processed) meal replacements they use! ... Happy Nameday in advance -- mazel tov!!!
I'm 73 and had forgotten I did a liquid diet twice. The reason it didn't stick was that in both instances, the maintenance part dissolved and the support group fell apart. So make sure you go to meetings and have lots of support to not go back to your old ways. I just started counting calories with an app Lose It and realize that I was treating myself with snacks much too often. Stopping at bakeries and ice creameries on the way home....good luck on your journey.
I just made a long comment, starting with "Encouraging," etc. I'm not up on navigating this deal, so I hope it didn't just get shunt off as a side comment to Jane Yen, but an open comment to one and all. Anyhow . . .
You are inspiring! For many reasons like the work you do on-stage (last show coming up at the Marsh-a real treat and thought provoking to boot) but mostly because you’re just so human. This journey you’re on seems very hard but also worth it and I love that you’re sharing it. I relate, I’ll bet we all relate. Carry on, Brother Josh!
Encouraging, encouraging . . . there, some more encouraging words.
I like all the sympa comments you get from yr fans here--you send good vibes, receive good ones in return from like-minded folks. I earlier sent you 2 or 3 encouraging posts on food/dieting etc., then thought to branch off a little bit from obsessing on food (and its absence!) which can lead to disaster, or at least be a strain, and I sent you a couple of bits on comedy and self-deprecating bla bla.
Now back to Topic A. Again, congrats, but I worry about the eventual end of this extreme diet. I'm hoping there will be a planned transitioning to ease your way. Unfortunately this here can lead to obsesssive thoughts on food, as your post shows. Oh, I miss this, I miss that . . .
Do we have to celebrate with food? Can't we celebrate with shouting? Dancing naked in fountains? Hugging our friends (after drying off and reduffing our clothes)? I'm going to congratulate myself for writing this post by, I dunno, standing up and stretching, admiring the view from a nearby window, petting my dogs . . . no food necessary.
Well, again, I'm trying to lead thoughts away from just foodfoodfood. Maybe I should try a dirty joke or two. Whatever, just trying to edge food back into a smaller part of your life, y'know? Well, your *emotional* life, cuz obviously you have all kinds of intellectual, social and pollitical pursuits, science and what have you. I know it can be like trying to *not* think of polar bears in the snow--isn't that an old exercise in this sort of thing? How to avoid obsession, bla bla.
I was gonna mention a 94-day fast I was involved in (companero, not participant!) with Pastors for Peace. Our people existed on a daily diet of one gallon of water and the juice of I think a dozen lemons and a cup of molasses for electrolytes and B vitamins. Ah, there, I did mention it. Well, okay, polar bears and snow, let's not think about food alla time. It's maybe kinda a zen-ish thing, not *reaching* for a thought or condition, but letting it happen. A nice trick, if you can do it. Let it happen. Water (and food) will find its own, proper, level. Okay, end of sermon. Sheesh. joe
Encouraging, encouraging . . . there, some more encouraging words.
I like all the sympa comments you get from yr fans here--you send good vibes, receive good ones in return from like-minded folks. I earlier sent you 2 or 3 encouraging posts on food/dieting etc., then thought to branch off a little bit from obsessing on food (and its absence!) which can lead to disaster, or at least be a strain, and I sent you a couple of bits on comedy and self-deprecating bla bla.
Now back to Topic A. Again, congrats, but I worry about the eventual end of this extreme diet. I'm hoping there will be a planned transitioning to ease your way. Unfortunately this here can lead to obsesssive thoughts on food, as your post shows. Oh, I miss this, I miss that . . .
Do we have to celebrate with food? Can't we celebrate with shouting? Dancing naked in fountains? Hugging our friends (after drying off and reduffing our clothes)? I'm going to congratulate myself for writing this post by, I dunno, standing up and stretching, admiring the view from a nearby window, petting my dogs . . . no food necessary.
Well, again, I'm trying to lead thoughts away from just foodfoodfood. Maybe I should try a dirty joke or two. Whatever, just trying to edge food back into a smaller part of your life, y'know? Well, your *emotional* life, cuz obviously you have all kinds of intellectual, social and pollitical pursuits, science and what have you. I know it can be like trying to *not* think of polar bears in the snow--isn't that an old exercise in this sort of thing? How to avoid obsession, bla bla.
I was gonna mention a 94-day fast I was involved in (companero, not participant!) with Pastors for Peace. Our people existed on a daily diet of one gallon of water and the juice of I think a dozen lemons and a cup of molasses for electrolytes and B vitamins. Ah, there, I did mention it. Well, okay, polar bears and snow, let's not think about food alla time. It's maybe kinda a zen-ish thing, not *reaching* for a thought or condition, but letting it happen. A nice trick, if you can do it. Let it happen. Water (and food) will find its own, proper, level. Okay, end of sermon. Sheesh. joe
I love your comments, Joe!! ... Re the transition back to eating real food: Yes, this Kaiser program I'm on does focus bigly on that. After the first phase of 17 weeks (the one I'm on), for the next 13 weeks we'll gradually incorporate real food, week-by-week replacing one or two of the "meal replacements" with, you know, food (but with strict calorie amounts and percentages of protein, non-starchy carbs, etc.). And then, after the 30 weeks of the actual diet, they offer follow-up - and participation in support groups - for (it seems) forever. But I'm still quite nervous about what will happen after the diet is over.
I had a beer before going into the Comedy Store in L.A. I was late, as always,
and the only seating available was a table for two right up against the stage.
I was soon to learn to never, ever sit up front in a comedy show.
As I awaited the show, the beer started hitting me hard. Should I get up and make a run for it now, or--blast, here came the MC. He introduced the comedian, Richard Belzer. {I just now Googled his name to assure spelling, and it said his last words were "Fuck you, motherfucker!" Hmp.]
If you forget who he is, he was a hard-faced detective on a New York cop show. His visage was much more suited for gritty drama than comedy, that's for sure.
So Belzer started out as so many do, greeting the audience, establishing his presence up and down the line of tables. His gaze skipped over me and the
empty chair next to me and swept along. Halfway across the front row he said
to one man, "I see you brought your hooker in with you." A slight gasp from the crowd as folks wondered how this would go over with his victim, who just made
a forced smile and gritted his teeth. Another aggressive remark to someone at
another table, an insult to their wardrobe, then towards the other end of the
stage he reached down and lifted up a patron's drink and took a noisy sip from
it and stared down challengingly at the man whose drink it was. Belzer had now shown whose room it was. Then he started his routine. Oh shit, this was going to go on for a while, and I really, really had to go. Then Belzer singled out someone at the other end of the stage and addressed a comment to her, sotto voce.
Now was my chance. I'd make my break. I stood up, crouching and made to slink out to hit the head, go to the bathroom. But I was caught in the act. Belzer
turned from his warm up (?) sequence and stared at me. "Am I offending you?"
"Oh, no, you're great. It's just I got the runs."
What'd I say that for? To my--our--mutual discomfort I got a bigger laugh than he'd got so far. I hadn't gone for a laugh at all, but something about the timing, perhaps juxtaposed with the tension from his needling audience members, brought out a burst of laughter. Oh my.
I think Belzer started by noting the empty chair next to me. "What's the matter--your computer date didn't show up?" and on and on he went, calling me everything but the son of god. And like the man with the violated drink or the one whose wife or girlfriend had been called a hooker, there was nothing to do but put on that same forced smile and grit, grit, grit.
Never sit up front at a comedy show.
Then there was the time I went to a club on Battery Street in San Francisco.
This time I would make sure I got there in plenty of time, get a seat further back, and I'd take a bathroom break beforehand. The club had a somewhat strange street face--no windows, just solid concrete. There was a stairway going up a floor to the main entrance. Beside it there was a single door in the building's concrete face, and a man sat in a wheelchair on the sidewalk facing it. From behind I could see he was making those head motions I knew so well from back in New York, when I'd socialize with my wife's cousin, who had cerebral palsy.
I sized up the situation immediately. The man couldn't manage the stairs, of course, and was faced with a door that had no buzzer. I'd help him.
I caught the man's attention, said, "Hi. I'll go up there and get somebody to let you in." Like my cousin-in-law, he had a hard time speaking, made gurgling sounds as his head rolled around. I made some sort of assuring gesture, turned and bounded up the stairs. At the ticket office I said, "Say, there's a guy in a wheelchair downstairs and--"
"We know about it, thanks." Okay, I bought my ticket, went inside and got a good seat, far enough back that I wouldn't be a ringside victim of a rampaging comic, but right on the aisle so I could get a good view. I secured my seat with my jacket, made my pit stop, returned to my seat as the joint filled, and soon it was show time.
The MC came out, made his introductions, pointed out the exits, made a pitch for forthcoming shows, then changed into his introduction voice. "And now, folks, we have a special treat for you. Our first act tonight is _____, the world's
first paraplegic comedian!" Ta-da!
And it was him! The guy in the wheelchair from outside! "H-h-hi, ev-v-vrybody. I h-hope y-you d-don't f-feel cheated--th-this is s'posed to be s-s-stand up!" and there was a relieved laugh. He knew that we knew that he knew. There was an elephant in the room and he'd deal with that right away.
"It's n-not easy b-breaking into c-comedy for m-me--hell, it's n-not easy for me anytime. Ev-v-vry day . . . like I w-was j-just outside here, w-waiting to get
on the elevator and along c-came this *asshole,* thought he was s-some kinda
liberal, and--" his eyes lit on me and suddenly his neck spasms ceased and he glared at me. "There he is now!" and all eyes were on me, and out came the frozen smile, the gritted teeth.
I'd had practice.
That's a great (linked) pair of stories, Joe -- with a fantastic punchline! (And I believe that the Punchline is the S.F. club you're referring to.) I saw Belzer emcee a gig in Greenwich Village many, many years ago (I think my mom was with me). Yeah, his stage persona (and, from the sound of it, maybe his just plain personality) was pretty bitter. He did this cool little bit in which (as I dimly recall) he was saying something about the past, then took a bite from his (or an audience member's?) plate of food, made as if to throw it up and said, "History repeats itself." Prof. Irwin Corey -- an old leftie -- was the main attraction at that show. A happy memory.
I wish I had something inspirational to tell you. I can tell you that I remember that feeling as well, and I completely get the reward for accomplishment mentality. There's also the habit mentality: can't do something without eating at the same time. It seems I can't sit down in front of the TV after work without eating something. I'm glad you've realized your issue, though, and being aware of it will help you overcome it. Best of luck to you!
Thanks so much, Kristina!!
4 inches?!!! That’s spectacular Josh!! Let that 4” loss really sink in and then tell us all that you’re not experiencing happy, dancing feelings ❣️Go Josh go!!!
I like how your rewards are shifting for you. The "pre-diabetic" warning from my last blood draw has me eating way less sugar, controlling that addiction and seem to be able to allow an occasional "treat" in a very small quantity - as long as I can still drink coffee, I seem to manage. I'm realizing it's all about dosage, so that's what I focus on. You gotta be proud of yourself, Josh - you're really doing it! Congratulations....
Thank you, Sara!! Getting back blood tests in that same "pre-diabetic" range was one of the big instigators of my desire to change how I eat. It's scary!!
Same here! Pre-diabetes and borderline hypertension.
I hear you regarding food and rewards. The diet I'm on is completely different from yours so I eat "real food", but there are still foods I miss and crave. I'm allowing myself one "feast day" per month where I can eat whatever I want*; I don't call them "cheat days" as they're planned, so it's not cheating. My first scheduled feast day is coming up this Wednesday, August 23, for my Nameday: The 10-year anniversary of the start of my gender transition :-)
Regardless, the good thing about avoiding junk food is that it's made the healthier foods I've been eating taste so much better! I'm hoping this will encourage me keep eating this way most of the time once I've reached my goal weight. Best of luck to you in that regard.
* I'm vegan for ethical reasons so I never eat animal products. But there is plenty of vegan junk food available in San Francisco!
The very cool Kaiser doctor who did my pre-liquid-diet checkup told me that the one reservation she has about their program is that she wishes it was real food and not the (very processed) meal replacements they use! ... Happy Nameday in advance -- mazel tov!!!
I'm 73 and had forgotten I did a liquid diet twice. The reason it didn't stick was that in both instances, the maintenance part dissolved and the support group fell apart. So make sure you go to meetings and have lots of support to not go back to your old ways. I just started counting calories with an app Lose It and realize that I was treating myself with snacks much too often. Stopping at bakeries and ice creameries on the way home....good luck on your journey.
Thanks so much, Rachelle!!
I just made a long comment, starting with "Encouraging," etc. I'm not up on navigating this deal, so I hope it didn't just get shunt off as a side comment to Jane Yen, but an open comment to one and all. Anyhow . . .
Ah, nevah mind. Fixed it.